And I mean a week from hell! Probably the worst of my entire career. It took me three days to recover. Now I'm enjoying the backlash, trying to take it in stride and still work. The only thing I will say clearly is that I HAVE NO CONTROL!!! So don't pick on me as if I did. When it is within my full power the out come is different. That IS why I do my own book on the side so that I don't have to hide away ashamed of myself and beating myself up for wasting my life.

Now I've never been much of a Facebooker, in fact I only got here to farm in Farm Town with my son. From the activity on my LJ account you can get an idea of how often that really is. Recently we haven't been able to farm at all because we're harassed there! Before we can make ourselves invisible chat windows pop up. Who ARE there people? Why is everything such an emergency? So as with many during the Dust Bowl we have abandoned the farm. NO MORE online gaming of any kind.

I'm at my wit's end trying to find a small die cast pressing machine. I know that's an odd thing to want but I really need one. Apparently it's as hard to find as a unicorn unless I'm willing to deal with a website called Alibaba... (yes! You heard me right.) I see a lot of them in China that are exactly what I'm looking for. A unit with a small foot print. It can fit on a desktop and is manual. Most are very affordable but would cost more to import if it arrives at all considering that it all looks like one great big scam. Who'd send money to a company over seas through Western Union??? Now I've looked into crafting machines like Spellbinder Wizard, Sizzix, Accucut Grand mark, Ellison, and the cricket but they're practically toys. Some are very big, expensive toys;but, they're toys all the same. The biggest die that I'd use is 11x17. Some of those toys can easily accommodate that; but, they've got the pressing power of my son's two little chubby fat fingers! Since this quest is right up there with finding the Holy Grail I'd thought I'd take a chance and reach out to the community. Does anybody out there have a small table top die press machine, even if it's manual, that they'd like to unload? Or had anyone imported anything at all successfully from a Chinese company through Alibaba? Have you captured a Leprechaun and forced him to take you to his pot of gold? If so ask him where I can get a Die Press machine.

August 27th I'm off to a one day convention in Conn. called Comicon. I've never been there before but I'm happy to go. I like one day cons but I end up spending more than I earn. The last one I went to I didn't even make car fair; but, I got to talk to a lot of very nice people and I met some great creators who i hope to stay in contact with.




I'm also drawing closer to finishing the third issue of my book in spite of myself. This is it's cover. tomorrow I'll paint it. Hopefully I'll have it done for NYCC in october.

OOOOO, I tried not to write about this. I wanted so to just be happy and thankful but something... bothered me when I saw the art. Not because of what it was. The art was great and I was very excited to see my character included and drawn by someone else... ... ...but I was equally as disappointed to see the cast of Tarzan minus the white guy. I know that's crass, I've never been so crass on paper, but that's how I felt. I was ashamed and sorry. It was like being pushed into a crowded room naked. The next time I get to be reminded why being a woman is a bad thing AGAIN! It's the nature of the beast, I know. It also is what it is and logical to the story as well I bet; and, if I really don't like it then DO something about the broken system instead of complaining about it. Yume and Ever IS my thing. My escape; and, it hurt in an unexpected way them separated and categorized. It's of no consequence and for a good cause and for a good project that I believe in. I just don't understand why I had to have any feelings about it at all.

I looooove Philly... because they have a Chick-Fil-a. For that reason alone the trip is worth its while. I'm quite looking forward to the convention; but, it's been a slow start. The crowds are more picky and less likely to part with their hard earned cash for anything that's not mainstream. Luckily I have plenty of those pages to off load; but, I go to cons to show what I don't get to draw. I want to look into Indy cons. There's Mocca here in NYC but I've been told that that "Marvel" look is too mainstream for such a trendy crowd and my own book's too 'polished". I'm sick of feeling like an outsider every where I go.

I'm gonna get crazy and draw a one or two shot of a few chapters of my private novel. I need to design ink for 5 more guys and two ladies; but, I also get to draw airplanes and starships and jet fighters. I really wanna draw jet fighters.

I like one day conventions. THey're surprisingly fun and not half as tiring. The con date is actually June 12th but I'm taking ye ol' Grey Hound express there a day early. Hopefully I'll hawk m'wares and meet nice people.

Why are Artists so damned fragile????????

I don't draw @ conventions, I'm too nervous and I have to be alert to beg people to look @ my book--heee! So I've decided to draw a few characters in pencil and ink. I've always, always wanted to draw Loki and when I read that relaunch story, oooooo! I REALLY wanted to draw Thor; but, I was off in another pond and I didn't have, and I still don't, have the courage to submit to Marvel. Perhaps after I've got a couple of these under my belt I'l feel more confident.

I've finally stood up and printed the second issue of my book. Tonight I'm feeling really optimistic about completing the third. It's been a hard two years of just one weird experience after another work wise. I was beginning to think that I didn't have love left for drawing, art, anime, you name it I had gone dead to it. Suddenly, something just woke up and now I'm plotting out pages and digging through old art to find the initial sketches that I made of issue 3 of Yume and Ever. This is when the story finally begins and it feels like a real beginning. I'm doing Cons again and I'm going to try to stay off the leash for as long as possible. I've learned how to live on fumes so I'm not afraid of eviction, etc. anymore. It'll be great to draw for myself for a while. A healing, healthy experience, I hope.